my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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