Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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