She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
