I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
