10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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