We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
