The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize