Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize