You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
