Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
