I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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