No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Randomize
