yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
