Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
