I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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