yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize
