I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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