This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
