batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
