I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
