Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize