She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
