life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
