i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
The uberlube is also flammable
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
