Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
