in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Randomize
