At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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