Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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