ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
