did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Randomize
