Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
