It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
