I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
