Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
