Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
