so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
