Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
