you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
