It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
