One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
