Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
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