But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
