You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
