you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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