So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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