She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
When did angry sex become our thing?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
