11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
