You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
