you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
She just used a chaser for red wine.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
