i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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