I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
