words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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