We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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