just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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