can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I fill condoms, not promises.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
