he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I just want nice things and good sex
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
