My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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