i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
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