There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
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