so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
