The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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