Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
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