these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
