Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
