At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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