SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
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