i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
