Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I understand Curling. That high.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
